Unbelievably Helpful

C. Jane Kendrick has really opened my eyes with this

Listen to your body

Me in the raw

I've been depressed lately. I'm not going to hide it. I don't ever hide my emotions- I think it's not possible for me. Another way of "Getting Myself Back" is to get myself back to happy. I started a new business that will hopefully help Blake and me get back on our feet after he lost his job back in January of this year. He has a job now and has for about a month but money hasn't been back in our bank since we have to get caught up with life. We have a large adoption debt (which I wouldn't trade for anything cause I love my darling daughter) and I have loads of hospital bills from when I was in the hospital over a year ago. We haven't been able to pay ANY of them off since we have had no money. And as silly as this may sound, the loss of my little dog Junior has been a huge factor in my depression. He was my baby when I couldn't have children. He served his time here on Earth well. He was there for me and he did his job. I'm grateful to have had my little baby when he passed so I wasn't empty handed.
My husband is such a hard worker. I love him and I'm so thankful for him too. He loves me and Gracie and that is the best thing a husband can do. He is a hard worker. He wants what's best for us and he works hard to get it. Oh I love my little family.
I have amazing friends too who have helped me SO much during this rough year. I was lucky enough to be with many of them last night. We talk about everything under the sun. We cry and laugh with each other. I love them so much. Which brings me to my next reason for my depression. I'm the heaviest one. Last night I didn't want to be in pictures with them because I know I look fat in pictures and they are so gorgeous and thin. They have worked hard to get where they are, however. And I need to work just as hard to reach my goals. I want to lose 30 pounds. I know I can do it. I wish there was an easy way to do it but there isn't. I need to get my butt to the gym daily. No excuses.

What a feat!

I've been wanting to get back down to the pant size I was pre marriage. I have saved 1 pair of pants from that time. (the rest I reluctantly gave away) I saw said paints in my dresser today. I thought to myself. "Hmm I wonder how close I am to fitting into those pants?" Then I quickly thought "Uh oh, if I can't fit them over my thighs I will be so depressed!" But I tried them on anyway.... they fit! They were a tad snug for my liking but they fit pretty well. Blake said I looked "sexy" lol hehehe Thanks Babe!... I don't know if I should say the size... but I'm very happy with my feat so maybe I will share the size of those pants... 6

I'm happy!

Good Golly Miss Molly!

I pigged out over the holiday weekend. I felt like a bloated blob yesterday. I made myself weigh myself today, to face my fear. I have lost more weight. I am now 148.5! I'm very pleased :) That's all I have to say. G'day!

Low Carb, High Protein

-That's how I'm losing weight. I haven't completely deprived myself from carbs or anything, but I've cut back, a lot. I don't use buns on my hamburgers. I use squash instead of pasta. I get no sugar added or sugar free stuff when possible. I bake with Flax meal instead of flour. I try to work out 3 to 4 times a week (when I'm not sick). Even if it's just half an hour of walking or biking. It helps! So I'm down to 151. I fit in pants I didn't fit in before. My shirts fit way better and I I just feel good. I see a big difference all around.

Bye bye!

I'm down more weight :) it makes me rather happy! 153.4!! OH YA! I'm not eating sugar or starches (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes)... This step of my diet is 10x easier then the first 3 weeks! HOLLA!! Wish me continual luck on my weight loss... 13.4 pounds to go!

Surprise, surprise!!

I just decided.. I love working out! I didn't love it when I tried to lose weight last year (which I did but the meds made me gain it back and then some) BUT back when I was in college, I LOVED WORKING OUT! I think it was cause I was thin and cute and I felt good working out, not discouraged. I tend to feel discouraged sometimes because I'm not seeing results right away. Since I've lost 15 pounds so quickly I feel good about myself, and not discouraged... make sense?? YAY I'm excited to work out tomorrow :)

Am I nuts?

I think I'm bigger than I think I am. I look at the people on Biggest Loser and some weigh 20 pounds more than me and their pant size is smaller then mine... but they look bigger then me. I have issues... so discouraging. I have a huge butt and thighs. I went down to 153.8 but then I weighed myself today and I'm back to 155... I guess it's to be expected when you stop the strict diet and eat a little more. And I'm working out so I could be gaining muscle. But I better not gain any more... AH FAT SUCKS! Why do we have to gain weight? Can't we just live day-to-day with out adding the worry of weight gain? GRR!

Losin and Lovin It-- sorta

I love weighing less but the eating healthy thing has been very trying!! I haven't had starch or sugar in over a week. I've had to exercise major self control. B-day parties, get-togethers... just plain weekends- it's tough I tell ya. And I'm ornery and a bit nutty.. but I can't let myself give up. I just can't do it. I want to, but I can't!

I'm down to 160.4 pounds now. I know last time I said I'd post my measurements but, as ironic as this sounds, I'm too lazy to go upstairs and get the paper. But I know I've lost at least 3 inches so far... and it's been a few days since I measured. So maybe I've lost more. ANYWAY! that's that :)

I'm Checking In Again.. Finally

Ok.. lemme just tell you my current weight: 164.8.. so since I last posted I lost 5 ish lbs.. but I started my diet yesterday. I have all my measurements so I will post those next time. I hope the inches and pounds melt off :) May the force be with me (I'm not really a Star Wars fan but I felt the quote was fitting.)

Starting Over

Back to square one since the blood issue, ya know... kinda a set back and it caused me to gain at least 20 pounds... SOOOO here I go again- I weigh the most I've ever weighed in my life and it's hard to swallow!! But I need to get myself back sooo badly. It will make me feel so much better and happier, I just know it! So, to get to my pre-married weight I will need to lose about 45 pounds, but I am ok with weighing 140 so I will need to lose 30 pounds. My friend Kati is a huge inspiration, I hope she doesn't mind, but this is her site http://skinnykatipowell.blogspot.com/ let her inspire you too. My sister is too, she works out in front of my lazy self every single day. Ok.. seriously, here I go!! I will check in again in a few days or a week..

Sad and Depressing

Since being in the hospital and being on the medication Prednisone, I've gained all the weight back. It's very depressing. But I have high hopes that once I get off the medicine I will shrink back down.. but mean while, it really sucks to look in the mirror and be seen in public. I feel fat. I don't feel pretty. I look in the mirror and I don't see me. I see someone I've always dreaded to be and tried to never become. The medicine also makes me break out in zits.. So not only do I feel ugly from looking fat but I also feel ugly from my pizza face. I normally have very clear skin. I don't want to go out in public. I am depressed about my looks right now. I hate it.

Above pic: Before the meds (just weeks before)

Below pic: While on the meds (just a week and a half ago)

Since I've Been Sick...

... I've lost more weight. I'm down to 151.8 now. Just a couple pounds more until I am at a healthy weight! That's exciting to think about. I just gotta keep it up. This sounds strange but I am going to do weight loss hypnosis... I'll let you know how it goes.

Here we go again

I need to get back into the swing of things. I haven't worked out since Gracie has been born. Well we went on a walk last week in the heat so that works. Anyway, here I go again!!

Have you lost more weight?

I've been getting that question a lot lately but I haven't worked out for a while so I'm scared to weigh myself. But lots of people say it looks like I have lost weight. I sure hope so! Maybe one of these days I will get the guts up to weigh myself.

5K

So... Saturday May 9th was the 5k for Breast Cancer. It was at the Gateway. I didn't do GREAT cause I'm so outta shape and my hips were hurting me for some reason... anyway. I did the 5k in 41 mins... My sister did it in 28 mins and my mom in 39... boo me right? Well at least I did it. I'd do more. It was fun and fulfilling.

I'm a Slacker

I've been SOOOO busy lately I haven't been very good with working out. But I have a 5k on Saturday- uh, we'll see how well I can do.

I have to get back in gear. I feel soooo much better when I work out. When I don't, I feel bloated and puffy :( NO GOOD

Baggy Pants

YAY My pants are too big for me. I even bought a new pair of pants about a month ago and they are too big.. My cute skirt that I haven't fit into in about a year and a half fits me now. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!! I'm shrinking and I'm excited!

Frightening

I just had a sick scary feeling- and that is: I DON'T WANT TO GET FAT!

Just a lil more

I've lost .4 more lbs.. that's good. half a pound. So I've lost 12 and a half pounds. Tada! The end